Parents often face child cheating. The main thing is to stop the process in time.
The constant lies of the child, in adulthood is fraught with consequences
It is necessary from a young age to inspire children that it is better to tell the truth, admit guilt and be an honest, decent person.
In order for a child to be able to fully realize the “difference” in deception, it is necessary to give examples when adults cheat, commit crimes, they are prosecuted, punished. And when a person deceives in order not to offend or upset a person, the so-called “lie in the name of salvation”.
Causes
Self defense
There are families where relations between children and parents are friendly and trusting. There is no need to lie, they will always listen, support, give useful advice. And there are families where parents literally keep their children in the "gauntlet". For each step they require a report, and if they do not like it - screams, moralizing, assault. That is where the lie begins. Fear is the cause of lies. The child’s self-preservation instinct is triggered by the next “fairy tale” about exploits at the start.
To achieve the goal
There is a situation when a child wants to be bought a toy, parents ask to wait or refuse to buy. As you know, children do not like to wait, and then in their imagination they scroll through a cunning plan. He sharply complains of pain, refuses food, arguing that he has no mood,but if he bought a toy, he would be happy and healthy. Bans also provoke children to lie. In this case, both sides need to learn to seek compromises.
Rules of etiquette
It is generally accepted in society to be considered bad manners, always telling the truth in the face of another person, if this truth is the basis for conflict or insult. Sometimes you need to be able to restrain your emotions and language, leaving your opinion to yourself. For example, a child came to visit, and the mistress of the house treated him with her pie and asked:
- Well, delicious?
The child will answer:
- phew, my mom bakes this pie a lot cooler.
Even if this is true in this case, then concurrently blatant bad manners. These points also need to be explained to children so that there is no incident.
Tact and education
Often, the errors of upbringing and etiquette in the family lead to deadlocks, for example: the mother scolds the child so that he ceases to be friends with a neighboring boy, arguing that he is stupid and from an unfavorable family. That same neighbor comes and the child betrays the bitter truth in the forehead. The consequences are unpredictable, spoiled mood, bad relations with neighbors, who is easier from such a truth?
Shyness and shame
Often there are cases when the child is shy and it is difficult for him to tell the truth in a particular situation. He begins to invent a story in order to evade conversation and punishment.
Syndrome of a “loyal friend”
The child is friends with the guys and they decided to skip the lesson together. Everyone agrees to lie to parents equally and not to surrender each other under any circumstances.In such cases, lies can be called reliability and devotion to friendship.
Desire to impress
People resort to lies in those cases when they want to give out their wish for reality. For example, when in a social network a teenager wants to impress a girl as superman, fearless, strong and muscular. In fact, he can be a thin coward who shies away from his shadow.
Image and creativity
This kind of "deception" is often found among representatives of show business. When a person in life is modest, calm and balanced. And on the stage there is an aggressive rock singer who is so included in the image that he himself does not understand how 2 different personalities fit in one body.
How to deal with children's lies?
First you need to analyze and decide what type of lies can be attributed to a child’s lie. If to such examples as the ones given above under the points: 3,4,5,6,7,8 - treat more loyally, again having studied the motivation of a lie. And if the deception refers to clauses 1.2, it is necessary to stop and explain to the children that speculating, blackmailing and lying at every step is bad and in the future it will not lead to good, and such a lie destroys the lives of many people.
Try to convey to the children's brain that honor and dignity are the authoritative quality of a person. No matter what the circumstances, parents should know the truth, only then they can solve the problem and protect. Parents are advised that they don’t need to interrogate and distribute head-slaps from left to right, this will only alienate their children from themselves, and they will hide real events from you even more.
The main thing is to trust the child, communicate more, explain the pros and cons of life situations.Try to calmly explain where the child is wrong, make it clear that he is a person, and you reckon with him as an adult. To resolve conflicts diplomatically and without assault. Do not punish strictly for a small lie and do not miss the moment when children abuse parental trust and develop in themselves such a quality as meanness. It is useless to fight this quality, as with an incurable disease.
